I NEED TO TEACH AT CSU, MERRILL LYNCH

OK, let's say that while teaching here at CSU, Bakersfield I mismanage my classes, fail to publish, and do things that drive my department's reputation into the ground, all of which gets it merged with the Department of Sociology. Should I become eligible for a bonus? I would be if I were teaching at CSU, Merrill Lynch.

The Financial Times is reporting that out of $15 billion paid out last year in salary and benefits to employees at bankrupt Merrill Lynch that between $3 and $4 billion in December bonuses was given to executives. All they had to do was mismanage their business, fail to make money, and lead Merrill Lynch into bankruptcy and a forced merger.

Making matters worse,

Merrill Lynch took the unusual step of accelerating bonus payments by a month last year, doling out billions of dollars to employees just three days before the closing of its [bankruptcy driven] sale to Bank of America . . . In past years, Merrill had paid bonuses later – usually late January or early February, according to company officials.

After Merrill Lynch decided to give out billions in bonuses, BofA officials learned that Merrill’s fourth-quarter losses would be greater than expected and began talks with the U.S. Treasury on securing additional bailout money!

The result? BofA will receive an additional $20 billion in taxpayer money (beyond the original $25 billion earmarked for Merrill Lynch). You can read the sordid details here.

- Mark